wileman's blog

For Amy

2008-06-14T06:57:00.000-07:00

I have to take a break from talking about vision to reflect on our time in Virginia honoring the life of our 12 year old friend Amy. Amy is the daughter of my wife's life-long friend Hannah and her husband Mike. For almost a year and a half she has battled brain cancer that ultimately took her life. It has been an emotional roller coaster of praying for healing, of hearing good reports, and then, ultimately watching a beautiful little girl and her family lose the battle to a dreaded disease.

So Julie and I considered it a privilege to join the family for the memorial service at Fourth Presbyterian Church near Washington, DC on Monday. It was an experience that I will not soon forget.

Nine hundred people came to the memorial. It was the largest funeral service at that church in 25 years. Considering that Fourth is the church of choice for many senators, congressmen, and other world leaders, that begs a question, "What made Amy so special?"

I know that I can't possibly explain it all from Dallas, but some things were clear in our three days there. First, Amy was an unusual kid. She had a quality of honesty, coupled with a feisty personality that made a mark wherever she went. In fact, our family has been laughing about Amy and her unique personality almost since she was born. So I know that part of the reason for her impact is simply her personality.

But it's clear that there's more to the story than that. I was also impressed by the communities she lived in. Amy, her four siblings, and her parents are all active. They play sports. They are engaged in many lives. Through their activity, they have clearly touched many lives as fun, but more importantly, good people. It was amazing to see how many different worlds they live in and how the people in those worlds love them.

The church community stands out. The pastors and the people of Fourth were extraordinary in their demonstration of love for this family. At least in this instance, Fourth and its leaders were remarkable in their faithfulness to their calling.

Of course, part of the reason for the response is the universal love of children. I think all societies weep when a child is lost. But Amy's family caused an unusual stir because of a quality that is very rare, but always attractive. I'll call that quality grace. There is a quiet, but powerful grace in that family that I believe touched those who saw it. The whole family, including the sister and three brothers, shared in the daily care for Amy. Love was demonstrated by the constant service and care, especially when Amy neared her death. But it was the quality of the service that was most noticeable. There was a constant joy. You could feel the love for Amy and each other in their tears, as well as their laughter. You were constantly aware that they felt it was a privilege to serve the youngest member of their family. They demonstrated a quality that is so powerful, that even as death approached, you knew that death was not winning, not really.

The grace was rooted in the grace they knew and experienced in Jesus. Amy's family believe that Jesus' life, death, and resurrection makes available God's grace to them. They know what it is to be loved when you cannot possibly adequately return that love. In God's grace they knew the purity of love that serves, and they, in turn, passed that love to Amy. And that grace gives them the security of hope. While the sadness is at times overwhelming, there is a hope in that family rooted in the belief that Amy's existence did not end, but that she is now in the presence of her God and her savior.

Most of us will, gratefully, never have the test that Amy's family faced. And consequently, we will never have such a dramatic opportunity to demonstrate what God's grace has done for us and how it can change the world around us. But Amy's family shows the absolute power of grace.

How do we demonstrate grace in the smaller tests and opportunities that we face?

Vision, vision, who's got a vision?

2008-05-21T08:29:00.000-07:00

Our church's vision statement (see below) includes the ideas of community, of following Jesus, and of attracting others to Him. But there's one more element that is in practically every Christian statement you read: glorify God.

The statement is reflective of the most famous lines from church history: "What is the chief end of man?” from the Westminster Confession. The answer is "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." That line captures eloquently the emphasis of Scripture that all of creation ultimately exists for Him, and not for us.

So ministries often remind themselves that they exist for Him, not us. In other words, we are not just organizations selling services to a clientele. Instead, we exist for strictly spiritual purposes.

But that is hard to do. We have to constantly remind ourselves that life is more that just surviving on earth, it is to be lived for the one who made us and gave His Son for us. We are here to bring Him glory.

Sadly, individually and as a church, we too often forget this vital purpose. We place our own temporary interests first. And ironically, when we do that, we suffer in the short term, too.

More on that vision thing

2008-05-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

Different organizations use different systems to accomplish their vision. Whether it's a manufacturing business or a service organization, each creates mechanisms to create their product. It's tempting to think that a church accomplishes its vision through worship services, sermons, education programs, etc.

While all of those programs are parts of the process, I think that a local church or congregation is primarily a community--and it is the community itself that ultimately does the work of the church.

The Bible dictates the things that churches do: teach, serve, evangelize, worship, relate. But it seems that the mystery of the church is that the Spirit uses the working of the gifts in community to do His work. I think that means that we can do a lot of church things, but if we have not created that sense of community, where we experience Jesus through the lives of others, then we will miss the best He has to offer.

But community is hard. Our human nature makes community hard, and today's lifestyle makes it even harder. We're busy, stressed, independent...all things that frustrate the kind of relationships that the Spirit works through.

But being hard is no excuse. Our fellowship must constantly create opportunities for believers to touch other lives. And over time, I believe God uses others to transform us into "passionate servants of Jesus Christ who attract others to Him."

The Vision Thing, Take 2

2008-04-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

Grace Bible Church seeks to build a community that glorifies God by developing passionate servants of Jesus Christ that attract others to Him.

So reads our church's mission statement. If organizations aren't careful, they spend hours and hours developing these statements, only to immediately forget them. What a waste!

Our statement attempts to reflect what we believe the Bible teaches about the role of the church. From the Great Commission we have the "product" of the church: passionate servants of Jesus Christ who attract others to Him. The usual language is "disciple", but we have chosen the longer statement in order to clarify our understanding of what a disciple really is.

It is our prayer that we will be a church that is characterized for a passionate love for Jesus. Attendance alone is not the standard: Jesus didn't just come to us, He died for us. So coming isn't an adequate response to His sacrifice. He deserves our passion, our lives.

The statement is intended to raise the bar, to cause discomfort. It even begs the question: How much do I love Him? Or, "What is my vision of loving Jesus?"

The Vision Thing

2008-04-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

I was interviewing a man for a staff position at Grace and he asked that great question: "What is your vision of Grace?" I must admit that part of me hates that question. I've been around long enough that I've grown weary with what many call vision. I believe in vision, I think I even have one, but I think the word is over-used.

My first thought when asked that question is to say, "My vision is for Grace to be a church, in the fullest sense of the word." Quite frankly, as I understand the teachings of the Bible, I become increasingly aware of just how much it means to be the body of Christ--and I fear we have a long way to go.

And having worked in marketing, I somehow rebel against using marketing principles too liberally in the life of the church.

But I must admit that we all need to know where our organization is headed. And if that's what vision is, we need one. So in coming blogs, I'll talk about VISION.

Good News/Bad News

2008-03-14T12:53:00.001-07:00

One of the most remarkable things about being a pastor is the constant interaction with so many other people's lives. When I first started, I had a hard time managing the sadness of hearing and seeing the pain in others. Life-threatening illness, death, divorce...there always seems to be at least one family or person in the midst of a heart breaking situation. They come to me. I pray with them. Sometimes I have Biblical advice they haven't thought of, but more often than not, all I can really do is listen.

It's easy to forget that there's always good news. There are weddings. New babies are born. Jobs are found. Of course, one reason I forget is people don't always come tell the pastor about the good news. But I think that it's easy to concentrate on the bad and neglect celebrating the good news.

And it seems that the more good news we have, the more we magnify the bad. This week I've read two articles decrying the tendency of the wealthy and the privileged youth both in America and abroad to focus on difficulty rather than blessing. Written by secular authors in secular publications, both found the irony that with so much wealth and prosperity, we can often still feel like we are owed more. It's like we're spoiled.

I think that the more we celebrate the good, the more we can weather the storms of the bad news when it comes. It's a healthier perspective. It's gratitude.

Breaking the Silence

2008-02-11T06:01:00.000-08:00

OK, the blog has been MIA. No excuses--I just went silent. It was certainly nothing personal, just a lapse. I promise to do better!

I find that the older I get, the more some things seem to simplify. In the past I may have envisioned complicated solutions for problems or challenges. But now experience has taught me that the solutions are much more simple to articulate, and harder to implement.

And there's the irony: the real solutions can be explained simply, but are much harder to actually live out.

For instance, marriage can be very complicated, but successful marriages are often quite simple: they are characterized by moment-by-moment selflessness. Selflessness is a simple, one-word solution, that is remarkably difficult to live out. But selflessness goes to the heart of our character.

Maybe that's why we try to create these complex solutions. They sound good, and they allow us to avoid the hard reality that the real solutions demand.

Maybe I should have stayed quiet.

Trivialization of Christmas

2007-12-16T14:50:00.000-08:00

You hear a lot about how we've made Christmas trivial: how we've lost its true meaning and commercialization has stolen a most sacred holiday. And that's certainly true. It is just very easy to miss the important with so much that is trivial pressing from all sides.

But if we who are called Jesus' followers attempt to place all the blame on the world around us, without accepting our own fault in the matter, we are kidding ourselves.

So much of what we say about Christmas seems to lessen the importance of the incarnation...God becoming man. We speak of brotherly love and peace on earth, which are undeniably good things. But Christmas is about something much more revolutionary. If God truly has become man, as we say we believe, then everything else is secondary.

There is certainly no problem with emphasizing the many good things we associate with Christmas. But there is only one true meaning of Christmas. It is that "The Word became flesh and lived among us." We do the world a disservice if we let than message be choked out--even by good things.

Excellenct Excellence

2007-12-03T18:30:00.000-08:00

When the book In Search of Excellence was the rage it immediately began something of a debate in church circles. Initially, I remember many Christians questioning whether excellence was a legitimate goal for the church.

It seems today that the debate is settled. Church services today are typically much better planned and executed than 25 years ago. Even smaller churches give much more attention to small details to ensure that the poor quality does not distract from the message. And personally, I think that's a good thing.... to a point.

The focus of the debate when the book first appeared was whether we should choose excellence over Spirituality; whether excellence was essentially fleshly; whether human effort would replace dependence on the Spirit. The problem was that a false dichotomy was created: Why should dependence on the Spirit detract from a commitment to doing things well?

Ironically, we may need to re-visit the idea. Are we so committed to excellence today that we are willing to compromise spirituality and moral excellence? Do we demand the highest "quality" in our services, and spend so much time pursuing it, that we are no longer dependent on the Spirit? And do we choose human performance over spiritual reality?

The question should not be phrased as either/or. But when there is a choice, the choice is clear.

The Problem with Balance

2007-11-11T13:11:00.000-08:00

I'm a little skeptical of "balance" as a virtue. I understand that it has its place. Certain things won't work without balance. But sometimes balance may be a euphemism for mediocrity.

This is what I mean: When something is really important, I don't want balance. Soldier in a battle don't seek balance--it's a life and death struggle, so it take total commitment to survive. I've studied leadership for twenty years, and my experience is that great and exceptional people aren't balanced. In fact, many have fairly extreme personalities. It's the extremes that set them apart.

And when it comes to serving the God of the universe, who sacrificed His Son for our sin, I'm not so sure that we are called to balance. Jesus' commitment to us was extreme. He gave His life so that we can be forgiven. I'm wondering if we should consider more extreme obedience and love in return.

Balance has its place, but when something is really important, there's a place for the extreme.

Changes

2007-10-14T16:13:00.000-07:00

Today (Sunday, the 14th) was a day of changes for two good men who have something in common.

We announced that our Associate Pastor, Vic Neufeld, will move to Canada in a few months to become the senior pastor of his home church in Winnipeg. In less than three years, Vic has moved from telecom to senior pastor. His seminary training was vital, but his success in the corporate world was part of his preparation, too. We will miss him.

And Bumper Hidalgo preached. He has moved from software to self-employment and youth ministry. Of course he had done youth ministry before, but he comes now with more mature enthusiasm. Life in the corporate world, coupled with a growing family, has made him uniquely understand the needs of youth and their families.

Both of these men have made significant contributions to our church family because they know and love the church, but also because they have functioned well in the world. The hard knocks and difficult lessons of living in the marketplace have increased their value to others.

Sometimes the average Christian believes that since he or she lives and works in the world they may have nothing to contribute. But ironically, the life lived well in the marketplace and the community can be our greatest contribution to others.

We sometimes forget that we follow a Savior who learned a trade before he proclaimed His gospel.

Emotions and service

2007-09-30T15:32:00.001-07:00

One of our staff mentioned the other day that his biggest surprise was the emotional toll that ministry has on him. He had just finished time with a family, and caught himself crying as he drove off--something he'd never done before.

I am just amazed at what some of our folks have to face, sometimes on a daily basis. And it's frustrating to be unable to fix things for them. I know that the gospel brings relief ultimately, but even Jesus wept in his ministry. He could "fix" things, yet human pain is real and He had compassion on those who hurt.

It makes sense that loving others and serving them can be physically exhausting. But I have found that, if not careful, the pain of others can sap my energy and leave me perpetually sad. So how do we take the risk of caring and hurting, and still have resources to serve another day?

I have discovered that prayer and time focussed on my walk with God becomes more important than ever when I'm serving those who hurt. I don't have much to give them, but I gain refreshment from time alone with God.

Part of the joy of the community of believers is that we can build relationships for the difficult, as well as the good, times. As we weep with those who weep, we share in Jesus' work. While it is hard, it is also rewarding. And it causes us to grow as we look to God for strength.

Building dedication

2007-09-16T15:57:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. As we dedicated our new worship center, our congregation combined our services to thank God for His provision, to celebrate our past, and to be challenged for the future. It was such a privilege to have all the surviving pastors join us and to take part in the service. The unity of the generations at Grace reflects its maturity.

When we thanked those who helped make the building possible, I know we left some key people out. Try as we may, it's impossible to recognize everyone. I left the service with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for our people.

But thanksgiving and gratitude cannot breed complacency. Until the Lord's return, we have been entrusted with a story so important that it must be told. And the consequences of that story must be demonstrated in our lives. Too many folks are listening and watching.

So the celebration was great. But now we have work to do.

Our new "digs"

2007-08-26T12:57:00.000-07:00

Today was a remarkable day. After years of praying, dreaming, and working, our church family enjoyed worshipping in the new building. It was a happy day.

It was happy because there was so much unity. It was happy because of all the natural light. It was happy to see so many people working together. It was happy to see the Lord's hand in so many ways.

So many have sacrificed and given so much. Our people have made an investment for future generations. But most importantly, we have come together to use the gifts that God has given us to build something that demonstrates our love for Him and the mission He has given us.

People build buildings all the time. The Dallas Cowboys are building a monster in Irving that will dwarf our house of worship. But for my money, no building is more honorable or impressive than one built for the worship of God and the proclamation of the hope of His gospel.

Getting reacquainted

2007-08-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that I've been negligent. I've thought of this conversation, only to get distracted and not resume. Since we last "talked" I've had the joy of welcoming a new granddaughter into the world (I'll show you pictures some time), and I've been preparing for our church's new building.

Next week is the first Sunday in the new worship center. After over four years of planning and labor, it is hard to believe it's here. I know I speak for the many who have been involved in expressing relief that the building is nearly complete.

The architecture of the new building is distinctive, but purposeful. Our architects designed a building that is intended to reflect the beauty of the One we worship using wood surfaces and natural lighting. The cupola draws the attention heavenward, to remind us that worship is about Him and not us. The commons area includes room for conversation and coffee, in order to build community. All of these features are intentional.

But the most important feature is the empty seats. We've more than doubled our space in order to make room for newcomers; not because people need to meet us, but because they need to meet the God whom we worship. My hope and prayer is that the church family will grow by new births, as more come to know the Savior who gave His life for us.

Watching my families, at home and at church, grow has given me a new appreciation of what God can do. Each new birth is a miracle. What a great privilege to see Him work as we watch His family grow.

youth, teenagers, courage, life

2007-06-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

We just met your teenagers returning from a mission trip in South Texas. After ten hours in vans, they (and especially the adult leaders) looked a little tired to say the least.

Although I don't know all of these young men and women as well as I did when my girls were teenagers, I do know enough to be very grateful for what I see. While they certainly aren't perfect, they certainly have great promise.

Teens can be mercurial and frustrating, but I love their thirst for life. And that thirst gives them a courage that is often missing in their parents. All too often, we adults allow life's disappointments steal our willingness to step out and live the life that God gives us. Sometimes teens step out in bad directions, but I still respect that they are hungry for what life has to offer.

Have you lost your hunger for life? Maybe we can learn something from our kids.

Finding rest

2007-06-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

Julie and I are enjoying a two week break in the Rockies. We were both tired, and the opportunity to get away together has been a real blessing. We've enjoyed the beauty of creation, as well as the slower pace of vacation. We needed the rest.

But modern communication keeps us grounded in reality. Through cell phones and e-mails we learned that an old friend our age died of cancer. We felt sadness for those left behind.

And then we discover that our dog became quite ill while we were gone. We had suspected something for awhile, and is is confirmed that cancer has advanced and he is very, very sick. When we return, our four-legged friend won't be there to greet us. I'll really miss the only other male in our house.

As much as we try to avoid the realities of pain in the world, we can't. Since Adam's fall in Genesis, death and hurt are our constant companions--we simply can't escape those realities. But we can find rest in the person of Jesus Christ. I simply cannot imagine trying to deal with all the hurt with out the perspective of Jesus' rest.

Can I make a difference?

2007-06-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in an airport watching the democratic predidential debate. As is often the case, you could get the impression that the world's problems are overwhelming and that, utlimately, we have many more questions than answers to the world's problems. I don't mean it's hopeless, only that we face issues that are so great, and so complicated, that it does make you wonder what we as individuals can do to make our world better.

Obviously, as citizens we should vote and be involved in the political process. But I don't believe that is all we can do. Especially as a follower of Christ, I also have the responsibility to live in the world as salt and light, which includes living out the love of Christ in my own community. It may be only a small drop in the ocean of need around us, but it is my calling.

The Old Testament book of Ruth demonstrates that God often uses seemingly insignificant people doing insignificant good works, to accomplish remarkable changes in the world. It is our calling to care and to do what we can.

Who's to blame?

2007-05-07T08:55:00.000-07:00

When a generation turns bad, and doesn't follow the way of their parents, who's to blame. Deuteronomy 6 places the responsibility on the parents in Israel to teach their children well, so that when they enter the promised land it will go well for them. But the book of the Judges makes it clear that the generation that entered did not follow after Joshua and his generation.

So who's to blame? Certainly a child has responsibility for his/her decisions. Especially when a generation reaches adulthood, they cannot simply blame their parents for desertion of God and His ways. But scripture still places responsibility on the parents to teach our children as a way of life, so they might walk in the way.

When I talk to parents whose children have strayed, I hear some take all the blame (which is not realistic), and some accept none of the blame (which seems unrealistic). Is there another response?

When our children don't follow as we would like, I'd suggest the following responses:
1. Be encouraged that it isn't over until it's over! As long as our children are alive, there is an opportunity for them to return.
2. Be prayerful. We are not alone in parenting, the Spirit works with us.
3. Accept appropriate responsibility. No parents are perfect. There is always room for learning and repentence.
4. Continue to love. Thank God that He keeps loving, and forgivig, His children, even when we fail Him.
5. Honor their freedom. Once a child is an adult, they have significant freedom--something we must accept. But this also means that they are free to endure consequences themselves as well.
6. Be faithful. Discouragement with our children can cause us to become disillusioned, but if we give up we can become a bad example ourselves.

Few things are as painful as watching our children struggle. But learning to trust God, even in our greatest pain, can make the journey more meaningful.

Honest Prayer

2007-04-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

Perhaps one of the biggest reasons Christians struggle with our prayer lives is that we somehow believe that we cannot tell God what is really on our mind. It's as if we are protecting Him from our immaturity and our sin. Do we really believe that He "can't handle the trut"? So we pray prayers that are often superficial or empty, and we don't experience the fellowship with God that He intends. And then we convince ourselves that He's just not relevant.

Of course, to think that God doesn't know the truth, or that He "can't handle" it, is absurd. He knows our weakness better than we--after all He gave His Son because of it. But we, like Adam, believe that we can hide from Him in the garden.

Perhaps we aren't really protecting Him, but seeking to protect ourselves. The more we speak honestly with the Lord, the more we are forced to be honest with ourselves. The more we confront our true thoughts, the more we allow His piercing stare to search our own hearts. And the more we accept His intrusion into our inner lives, the more we allow Him to transform us.

Grandkids & Easter

2007-04-12T14:21:00.000-07:00

Perhaps nothing so empty as the practice of religion than lacks a living reality. I have never understood why anyone would be interested in going through the religious motions simply for the sake of the past or tradition. But, to me, nothing is as meaningful as the possibility of having a conversation with the living Lord. That's why Easter so important to prayer. Because Jesus is alive and with the Father, our prayers have limitless vitality.

This Easter made that point to me in a new way as I celebrated it with our almost two year old granddaughter in the house. She is so alive, so excited, so hopeful. New life makes everything seem new. And that made the possibility of a living relationship to a living, resurrected Lord seem all the more real.

It makes me wonder, to what extent has the reality of death and decay in the world around us stolen our own ability to enjoy the excitement of life with Christ today? To what extent is our perspective on Easter weighed down by the stench of decay around us? What does child-like, living faith really look like?

Unanswered Prayer

2007-04-05T19:14:00.001-07:00

The following list is my summary of the fifteen reasons for unanswered prayer given by Pete Greig in in his book God on Mute (Regal, 2007). Greig is one of the founders of the 24/7 prayer movement, and his wife struggles with significant health problems.

1. Common sense: Some prayers aren’t answered because they’re just plain stupid!
2. Contradiction: Some prayers contradict other Christian’s prayers.
3. The laws of nature: Detrimental to the world and to the lives of others if they were answered.
4. Life is tough: Romans 8.20-21. Cf. Dan.3.16-18.
5. Doctrine: Our understanding of God and our expectations are wrong.
6. God’s best: He has something better for us.
7. Motive: even spiritual sounding prayers can have bad motives.
8. Relationship: because he wants us to deepen our relationship with him.
9. Free will: God does not force someone to go against his/her will.
10. Influence: God often works through gradual influence rather than an impersonal mechanism of forced control.
11. Satanic opposition: Eph. 6.12.
12. Faith: our lack of it.
13. Perseverance: It’s just not answered yet.
14. Sin: Ours.
15. Justice: The needs of others in our communities and the world.

While I don't think his list is perfect, I really appreciate the common sense reminder that God simply cannot answer all of our prayers with yes.

I think most of us understand that idea, at least in theory. The real pain comes from prayer requests that are prayed in desperation, and yet God doesn't seem to respond. It seems that in my life, faith gained its strength when there was the most pain involved in the request.