Who's to blame?

When a generation turns bad, and doesn't follow the way of their parents, who's to blame. Deuteronomy 6 places the responsibility on the parents in Israel to teach their children well, so that when they enter the promised land it will go well for them. But the book of the Judges makes it clear that the generation that entered did not follow after Joshua and his generation.

So who's to blame? Certainly a child has responsibility for his/her decisions. Especially when a generation reaches adulthood, they cannot simply blame their parents for desertion of God and His ways. But scripture still places responsibility on the parents to teach our children as a way of life, so they might walk in the way.

When I talk to parents whose children have strayed, I hear some take all the blame (which is not realistic), and some accept none of the blame (which seems unrealistic). Is there another response?

When our children don't follow as we would like, I'd suggest the following responses:
1. Be encouraged that it isn't over until it's over! As long as our children are alive, there is an opportunity for them to return.
2. Be prayerful. We are not alone in parenting, the Spirit works with us.
3. Accept appropriate responsibility. No parents are perfect. There is always room for learning and repentence.
4. Continue to love. Thank God that He keeps loving, and forgivig, His children, even when we fail Him.
5. Honor their freedom. Once a child is an adult, they have significant freedom--something we must accept. But this also means that they are free to endure consequences themselves as well.
6. Be faithful. Discouragement with our children can cause us to become disillusioned, but if we give up we can become a bad example ourselves.

Few things are as painful as watching our children struggle. But learning to trust God, even in our greatest pain, can make the journey more meaningful.