The following list is my summary of the fifteen reasons for unanswered prayer given by Pete Greig in in his book God on Mute (Regal, 2007). Greig is one of the founders of the 24/7 prayer movement, and his wife struggles with significant health problems.
1. Common sense: Some prayers aren’t answered because they’re just plain stupid!
2. Contradiction: Some prayers contradict other Christian’s prayers.
3. The laws of nature: Detrimental to the world and to the lives of others if they were answered.
4. Life is tough: Romans 8.20-21. Cf. Dan.3.16-18.
5. Doctrine: Our understanding of God and our expectations are wrong.
6. God’s best: He has something better for us.
7. Motive: even spiritual sounding prayers can have bad motives.
8. Relationship: because he wants us to deepen our relationship with him.
9. Free will: God does not force someone to go against his/her will.
10. Influence: God often works through gradual influence rather than an impersonal mechanism of forced control.
11. Satanic opposition: Eph. 6.12.
12. Faith: our lack of it.
13. Perseverance: It’s just not answered yet.
14. Sin: Ours.
15. Justice: The needs of others in our communities and the world.
While I don't think his list is perfect, I really appreciate the common sense reminder that God simply cannot answer all of our prayers with yes.
I think most of us understand that idea, at least in theory. The real pain comes from prayer requests that are prayed in desperation, and yet God doesn't seem to respond. It seems that in my life, faith gained its strength when there was the most pain involved in the request.
